<– back to the parable of the car in the field

DEED OF SETTLEMENT

BETWEEN

The conglomeration of churches of the mainstream variety of several and various locations in the State of Certainty (“The Church”)

AND

The communities of alternative worship, small fire, new worship, cafe style church, fringe, edge, and fresh worship, liquid church of several and various locations in the State of Confusion (hereafter collectively referred to as “The Emerging Church”)

BACKGROUND

  1. The Church stands possessed of a large number of assets including, but not limited to, spiritual gifts, (cults of) personalities, real property, intellectual property and incorporeal property.
  2. The Emerging Church are experimental fringe communities formed as a result of or in opposition to the Church.
  3. The Emerging Church as a direct descendant of the Church and in consideration of the generally very hard time through which they are put by the Church from time to time, asserts a right of inheritance over the estate of The Church.
  4. The Church and the Emerging Church have been in dispute as to the distribution of assets between the Church and the Emerging Church.
  5. The Church and the Emerging Church have reached agreement as to the distribution of the assets of the Church as composed from time to time and wheresoever situate and desire to reduce that agreement to writing.

AND THE PARTIES AGREE AS FOLLOWS

  1. The Church shall grant the Emerging Church control over all the assets, properties (both real and corporeal), finances, and traditions wheresover situate, including (but not limited to) the right to sell your buildings, monuments and organs and to spend the money on technology and any other thing appropriately adaptable to the uses of the Emerging Church (“Toys”).
  2. The Church will retain title of said assets as trustees and on trust for the Emerging Church.
  3. The Church shall not act in any way to prejudice the assets of the Emerging Church.
  4. The Church shall retain its position as arbiter of morality and values but only for those within the Church. Nothing in relation to morality or values shall be binding on the Emerging Church.
  5. The Church will respect the position of the Emerging Church as experimental fringe communities until such time as you abdicate.
  6. As the last of your incumbent office holders is deceased, we will assume power of attorney over your aformentioned assets.
  7. From that time, We will be known to all and in all correspondence as “the church”
  8. We will inhabit the structures, both real and political, which you have left.

EXECUTION

Signed, Sealed and Delivered by the said #

in accordance with #

In the presence of _____________________(Signature of Witness) _____________________. _____________________ (Name of Witness) ___________________

 

–> next, the mongrel dog of the church